they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
