we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
