Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
love makes seman taste better
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
