Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
A+ Viking dick
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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