dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
