Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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