Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
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Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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