Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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