I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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