Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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