physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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