Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
