I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My liver just had a heart attack.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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