I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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