i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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