party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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