I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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