i think i scared a bird with my dick
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I want to be your penis for a week.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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