she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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