Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
