ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
