I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
