Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
