My pussy is not your playground.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
