I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
