Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
