the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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