Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
They took my balls.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So apparently I’m into choking now
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
