That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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