After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
