i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
