i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
