I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
