We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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