Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize