Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
