I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
