She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
