Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
