READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
