the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
