omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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