Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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