im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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