Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
