I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
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You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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