let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
