Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
