Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
