He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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