Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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