And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh god the rape fog is back!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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