There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
