i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
