So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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