so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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