He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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