i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
