That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
