Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
